Challenges

THE CHALLENGES OF AN EXPAT SPOUSE.

Finding a job here is a real challenge for an expat spouse, a challenge that I have so far failed at.  I think it makes things difficult when you are not moving to Jamaica for a specific job where the work permit is already arranged for you. I learned this was a problem experienced by a lot of expat spouses around the world.

Being here without any job, without any real hobby, practicing the role of the housewife without any kids…I was kind of bored!!!! Initially, I really thought that I deserved a break after working insane schedules, nights and weekends in the hotel industry. Hard workers, I know you can relate… However, after a couple of weeks, catching up with every single of your favorite TV shows, reading a few books, the days ended up being SO LONG. I hated it. I was basically waiting for Erik to come home. He is kind enough to drive back home almost every day for lunch and then I decide if I want to go out for the afternoon with the car, by driving him back to work. This does help a lot but sometimes I still don’t know where to go or what to do with the car. I find excuses to go to the store or I just go for a coffee. You know, everyone says you should take this opportunity to do what you always wanted to do with your life, but I never dreamt I could be in this situation. How could I know what I wanted to do with all of this time? I could NOT complain because nobody understood, everybody wished they could trade places with me and I did not blame them because I still know exactly how they feel. It took me 9 months to really make peace with the situation and start to appreciate it as much as I could. I didn’t find anything extraordinary to do with my days but I started an online class in Event Planning, I work out at home and also truly enjoy cooking great meals. My new excitement was when I found new recipes!!! Haha… I also convinced friends and family to visit and so I had fun planning their trip from start to finish. But NOW I have this blog to wake up to and write. :)

Another challenge is trying to feel at home in completely different surroundings.  Before Jamaica, I started fresh in 2 different cities; I adapted quickly and found ways to feel at home in my new apartments. But here we are, in an apartment that is not ours, that is really big and OLD. Still, we are really lucky and doing with this accommodation, we have a breath taking view of the Blue Mountains every time we open the curtains of our bedroom. This view I will never get tired of it, but this same view also reminds me every day that I am FAR away from home. If, like me, you did not experience anything similar to this before, it is likely you feel out of your comfort zone. Every day, you have to force yourself to get out of the apartment and expand this comfort zone. This can be difficult to handle at first but when you get used to it. It turns out to be a great thing and you just have to seize this amazing opportunity.

Another challenge of being an expat spouse is losing a lot of what your social life used to be. Sometimes, I wish I was in a country where there was a bigger group of expats but even if you manage to find friends you will probably lose them shortly since the expat life is often temporary. My shortest friendship here lasted 3 weeks haha I already miss you Rafaèle! Anyways, you are basically stuck with your man, because you cannot find your girlfriends to vent it all out…he’s the one who has to endure it all and support you. Thanks Erik for your continuous patience haha. At least in this 21^st century we have the chance to stay connected with friends through Facebook, Emails, Skype, Whatsapp, and a great phone plan but it is still not the same. Friendships can be affected by this distance and the fact that you don’t see them as often as before. How do you make new friends in another country? You approach someone at the coffee shop? “Hey how are you? Are you lonely too? Want to be my friend?”...Haha it is kind of awkward! I am not good at it. Thank god Erik has really good social skills. He made us some great friends just by catching different people speaking French…because it is so rare to hear it in Jamaica. Our greatest friendship was with a family of four lovely Québécois: Marilyn, Martin Félix and Norah. We had the chance to share a lot of evenings together and we got along really well! They are now back in Québec. We sure miss them and can’t wait to see them again in Canada… or maybe Jamaica! WHO KNOWS? ;)